


If I Shoot You There, You'll Die

by BreakTheDawn



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Prompto Argentum, Canon-Typical Violence, Daemon Prompto Argentum, Gen, MT Prompto Argentum, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Gladiolus Amicitia, Protective Ignis Scientia, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:28:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22537015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreakTheDawn/pseuds/BreakTheDawn
Summary: Of course he’s disappointed.Because standing before, not even five feet away (and how did he get so close without alerting any of them?) in the crowded streets of Lestallum, smiling innocently like he’s not a nigh-omnipresent worry in the back of Ignis’ (and half of the remaining Crownsguards too, for that matter), dressed casually in a moogle-themed tank-top and plain khaki cargo pants is Prompto. Fucking. Argentum.Shiva give him strength.Or,What do you do with a Niff Assassin that nearly killed you all and only spared you for some vague reason?If you're Noctis Lucis Caelum, you adopt him.If you're Ignis Scientia, Gladiolus Amicitia, Cor Leonis and whole other host of people, this Stresses You Out.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia & Prompto Argentum & Ignis Scientia, Gladiolus Amicitia & Prompto Argentum & Noctis Lucis Caelum & Ignis Scientia, Prompto Argentum & Noctis Lucis Caelum
Comments: 33
Kudos: 421





	If I Shoot You There, You'll Die

**Author's Note:**

> So I was perusing the kinkmeme the other day, and just so happened upon this gem of a prompt:  
> https://ffxv-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/5690.html?thread=11817530#cmt11817530
> 
> And I decided to run with it. It was supposed to be funny little oneshot, but since I'm me of course, I had to go and vomit plot and head-canons all over it, so now it's a full-fledged AU. So...yeah.

“Hey guys!”

“Oh Astrals,” Ignis huffs under his breath, body tensing and heartbeat picking up ever-so-slightly because how the hell did they not notice him _again_?

“You gotta be fucking kiddin’ me,” Gladiolus is much less reserved about voicing his frustration as he throws his head back gives a long-suffering sigh. 

“Oh” and Noctis, the simple-minded man with no sense of self-preservation, has the nerve to grin and turn to look at their unwanted guest. “Hey.”

Praying to the six that it’s just someone that sounds like him and not actually him has never worked out in Ignis’ favor before, but the desperation for it to be true has never left him, so the advisor finds himself doing just that as he turns to look behind them. 

Of course he’s disappointed.

Because standing before, not even five feet away (and _how did he get so close without alerting any of them?_ ) in the crowded streets of Lestallum, smiling innocently like he’s not a nigh-omnipresent worry in the back of Ignis’ (and half of the remaining Crownsguards too, for that matter), dressed casually in a moogle-themed tank-top and plain khaki cargo pants is Prompto. Fucking. Argentum.

Shiva give him strength.

“I thought I told you to stop showin’ your damn face,” Gladiolus growls, taking place directly in front of Noctis despite the Prince’s indignant ‘Hey!’. “Else there’d be-”   
  


“Trouble,” the young man before them interrupts carelessly, waving a hand before shoving them both in his pockets, which sets Ignis on high alert. “Else there’ll be trouble, I know big guy. You’ve said the same thing the past four times we’ve seen each other and I’ve responded the same way each time too.” Prompto smirks.

“I _like_ trouble,” Noctis choruses in time with the blonde man, much to Ignis’ chagrin, Gladiolus’ ire, and Prompto’s delight as the blonde heathen has the nerve to peer around Gladiolus and _wink_ at the Prince in response. 

“Ya see?” the blonde shrugs, but still does not remove his hands from his pockets. “Mr. Lucis-Caelum himself remembers perfectly, aren’t you guys supposed to be able to do the remembering for him?”

Ignis grits his teeth subtly, wanting to close his eyes and pray for patience. He resolutely keeps his eyes on Prompto’s posture and the blonde’s hands still sheathed in his baggy pockets. The last time Ignis let himself take his eyes off the man’s hands, he’d nearly lost a finger. 

“The hell do you want?” Gladiolus’ voice is strained with anger. If Ignis were to spare the time to look, he’s sure he would find the older man coiled tightly to the point of snapping. As it is now, Ignis takes solace in the fact that the subtle smell of ozone in the air speaks towards their weapons in the armiger being just a flick of the wrist away. 

Noctis, sharing none of their alarm for some Astrals-forsaken reason, steps around Gladiolus to once again be in full view.

“Yeah,” Noct asks casually, “haven’t seen you in a bit, what brings you here now?”

Ignis spares a brief second to catalog their situation. The sun’s just beginning to reach its apex, beating down unforgivably and making the normal muggy heat of Lestallum more taxing than usual. The streets are full, and no one seems to be bothered by their stand-off with their unwanted guest. Ushering the Prince away through the crowd and out of the city would be no difficult task, but that would almost certainly mean that they would lose track of Prompto, which is entirely too dangerous to risk doing when Ignis now knows for sure that he’s within a few miles of them. Despite Gladiolus’ outright aggression and Ignis’ own harsh glare, they know from experience that Prompto is decidedly not even the slightest bit intimidated by them. Which means that he won’t hesitate to follow them if he fancies. 

Ignis clenches his fists, feeling the tingling of crystal shards along his fingers. The best thing that they can do now in this crowded space is to humor Prompto long enough and hope that he gets bored or is in Lestallum for another reason entirely. 

“Eh,” Prompto shrugs, still not removing his hands from his pockets. “I was in the area, and it’s been a while since I had Lestallum street food,” he says with a chuckle, “it’s way better than the stuff back home!”

“Yeah it’s pretty good,” Noctis responds easily enough, “Ignis likes to go through the bazaar for ingredients whenever we have the time to spare.”

_Never-mind_ _Shiva_ , Ignis thinks. He doesn’t need strength, he needs a _miracle_.

“I’m quite sure that he does not need to hear about our shopping habits Noctis,” Ignis says firmly. And to the Prince’s credit, Noctis does have the decency to look a bit sheepish and apologetic about just handing out information like that.

“Eh,” Prompto shrugs again, “Knew that already anyway.”

They need divine _intervention_. Why is it that Ramuh and Titan will pop out whenever they so please but have somehow never decided to smite this threat down?

“So I guess it’s just coincidence that you just happened to want Lestallum street food at the same time that we were passing through here ourselves?” Gladiolus growls.

“That and I followed the trail your chocobos made,” Prompto grins, “not many people dye their chocobo purple, and I figured that I’d say hey to my bud and pick up some kebabs, it’s a win-win!”

Ignis hazards closing his eyes at this point and shaking his head to himself, trusting that Gladiolus will not let Prompto out of his sight. The advisor had suggested that they do most of their recent travels by chocobo was because he’d thought that reason that Prompto kept finding them was because of the Regalia’s spectacle to most civilians. He’d hoped that using their chocobos would offer them a less conspicuous way of travel while also allowing them to move off-road more freely. He’d hoped that it would make them a little harder to track, but here Prompto is, having found them in little over a week since they’d seen him last. 

“No one here is your fucking bud,” Gladiolus scoffs.

“Not with that attitude you’re not,” Prompto is pouting when Ignis opens his eyes and focuses on him again. “I haven’t even done anything to you lately!”

“You kicked my kneecap out of place the last time!”

“Because you swung a sword at me!” Prompto protests, “All I was doing was offering to help you guys with those killer bees, but _noooo_ , you had to go and start bein’ violent, so I did what any smart person would do and defused the situation!”

“Defused!?” Gladiolus’ voice goes disconcertingly high at this point, so Ignis takes a step forward.

“Whatever you meant to do in that situation does not matter anymore,” he states firmly, vaguely hearing Noct’s ‘ _Dude, chill. People are starting to stare._ ’ “What matters now is that we have things to do, and we’d greatly appreciate if you would leave us to do them in peace.” 

“Things to do?” Prompto’s face lights up, and Ignis would wish for death if he were as dramatic as Noctis can be. “Like a hunt?”

“None of your gods-damned business-” Gladiolus starts.

“Yeah,” Noctis cuts his Shield off with a nod. 

“ _Noctis_!” Ignis and Gladiolus groan at the same time.

“Ooooh, what type of hunt?” Prompto asks gleefully, “Anything exciting?”

“A griffin.”

“Noct!” It’s only Ignis who groans this time while Gladiolus rolls his eyes and throws his hands up in response.

“What?” Noctis shrugs, as though the fact that he’s just giving out information to Prompto of all people is no big deal. 

“Why don’t you just tell him our ID numbers and blood types while you’re at it?” Gladiolus grouches. 

“I know those already.” Prompto shrugs, still with his damn hands in his pockets.

If Insomnia hadn’t already fallen, that knowledge would give Ignis a heart attack. Now though, it only serves as an uncomfortable reminder of just how troublesome this man can be and why Noctis needs to stop humoring him.

“Griffins are pretty scary dude,” Prompto goes on, addressing Noctis. “Think you might be in the market for some help? I like bringing down things that fly.”

The speed at which Gladiolus has a hand over their Prince’s mouth is admirable, and Ignis immediately goes to speak over Noct’s indignant grunting as the Shield begins manhandling him away.

“That won’t be necessary, we’re quite well-equipped to handle the task,” he states firmly as Prompto watches Noctis get dragged away with an amused expression. “We don’t need your help, or your intervention, we merely need to get on with our business and I’ll gladly thank you to get on with yours.”

He begins stepping backwards as he speaks, careful to keep all of Prompto within his line of sight and trusting that Gladiolus is still aware enough of his surroundings to warn Ignis if he’s going to run into something or someone.

Prompto, for his part, just continues to look endlessly amused, gaze lazily dragging over Ignis’ form in a way that the advisor will never admit makes him very nervous. 

“Ya sure?” the blonde man asks, tilting his head to the side like a curious chocobo. 

“Very much so,” Ignis retorts.

“Ok,” Prompto shrugs yet again, “if you say so.”

“Dammit Gladio! Let me go!”

Two seconds. 

Two seconds is all Ignis spares to turn and look behind him to where Noctis has finally managed to struggle his way out of the Shield’s grip. One second to look and take in the situation, another to mentally bemoan the fact that they’re now causing a scene. 

_ Two seconds. _

On the third second, he realizes his error and immediately snaps his attention back to Prompto. Or rather, back to where Prompto should be.

_ A strals above. _

In those two seconds, Prompto has somehow managed to vanish into the crowd without a trace. In two seconds, he’s managed to track of the only Nilfheim Assassin to have ever come within a breath’s width of actually ending Noctus’ life. Ignis heaves another large sigh, relaxes his fists, and breathes out one word that perfectly encapsulates how he feels the day is about to go now.

“Shit.”

**Author's Note:**

> Just a cute little intro to the idea here, I don't entirely know where I'm going with this, but I just know that I have Ideas, so expect me to pop back over here and drop some words here and then. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed and do stay happy and healthy! See you guys next time.


End file.
